No te tengo miedo

The temblor tips are: 1. Remember your priorities: first the kids, then the plasma.
2. If you are the type to run in terror, take precautions and invest in pyjamas, a dressing gown or permanent depilation.
3. If you are one of those who waits until a beam falls on your head to move, be assured that this is not valiant, it's just fear of ridicule.
4. Don't yell at the tremor. Phrases like, "stop", "I'm not scared of you" or "enough already" have been found to diminish, not the strength of the tremblor, but of your dignity.


[A very loose translation. I'm not sure I understood no. 4 correctly.]