Señor Tortuga

Emy's Mum brought us a visitor the other day.

                               
 No Pedro! Don't pick it up! . . . by the leg . . .

Grupo de mujeres / 2

The grupo de mujeres got off to a wonderful start. Because Iglesia Cristo Redentor only begin a year and a half ago, it turns out that many of the women didn't even know each other's names, so it was good just to get to know each other. The church started with about 30 people and is now about 60 or 70 strong. Many of those people are new to the Christian faith and have never opened up a Bible before.

Anyway Betty did a fantastic job of warmly and skillfully leading and teaching the women. We started off as a big group thinking about what being a women means for us (an interesting question in this relatively traditional and often macho culture). Then Betty read Genesis 1:26-31 and spoke about the dignity and wonder of being created in the image of God and given purposeful work to do. We then grabbed all sorts of yummy treats and, as we sat around smaller tables eating, shared how our knowledge of Genesis changes how we see ourselves.

I found myself sitting with some wonderful women who sincerely and humbly told their messy stories and their present struggles. Everyone listened carefully and the more mature passed on encouragement from God's Word. I was even able to explain (simply) how I used to be tough on the outside and lost inside - until Jesus' peace enabled me to be my true, softer self. And while I didn't have the language to teach the other women, I was able to point them to Romans chapter 8, that passage that has been such a comfort and anchor for me.

Please pray that we'll all learn together and love each other more and more as the year progresses!

Tricky Spanish things

• Pronouns come before verbs. If this happened in English, it would be something like, "To her it Johnny threw". It's taking a bit of getting used to. Especially since they do sometimes come after verbs, but stuck to them, as one big word.
• There are two ways to say "I am, you are, he is (etc)". It matters which one you chose.
• There are two ways of saying "I was walking (etc)". I'm yet to understand how much this matters.
• There's way more saying "that which" or even "for the which, to the whom". In English this would be something like, "The exam for the which I'm preparing is very difficult" (El examen para el que me estoy preparando es muy difícil).
• There's way more use of "the". When people are referring to me in conversation, I'm called "the Fiona".
• Some expressions and words don't match up. For example, you never say "another lolly" - it's always "the other lolly". And "molestar" means "to annoy".

Experimento Marcos

In April, my church will be hosting a 90 minute, 15 actor strong, play of the Gospel of Mark. I'm planning to invite some friends from my language school. Please pray that they'll come!

Fitting in and not fitting in

I work hard to fit in. I change my clothes, my walk, my facial expression and my intonation. I do this partly so life is nicer for me, and partly so I better understand and connect with people here. I'm still me though - I'm not trying to be someone I'm not.

At the same time as this, I need to be comfortable with being a foreigner and a beginner. There's no point missing out on opportunities to learn or get things done because I'm trying so hard to look like a local I can't ask for help.

It's an odd tension, which I think is only resolved if my identity and value is found somewhere other than my nationality. I'm a daughter of God, and so it's fine to give up some of my 'Australianness'. I'm a daughter of God, and so it's fine to be a foreigner.

Icecreams and nail polish

I find myself intimidated by random things here in Chile. There is the possibility that I could end up avoiding certain things the whole time I'm here - like asking for help in bookshops back home. But because I don't want to be that sort of person, I've been gently pushing myself to step (even further) out of my comfort zone each week. In the last couple of weeks I have:

• purchased a coupon to pay for an icecream (I didn't know how this system worked and you can't point to what you want);
• bought nail polish from a street stall (I've been scared of publicly stuffing up my money);
• tried a biscuity thing (I didn't know what it was);
• ate at a new restaurant (where I didn't understand the menu or the etiquette); 
• stopped and said a quick word to beggars and given them something to eat (I'm a bit scared of beggars).

¡Fiesta!

Sammy and Pedro both had their birthdays in last couple of weeks, so today they had a joint party! It was really nice to spend the afternoon with my new friends, especially as there was lots of fun to be had without talking :P.

                                         (Pass-the-Parcel comes to Chile, thanks to me :D.)

Grupo de mujeres

Once I can speak Spanish I'm going to be helping lead the women's ministry at Iglesia Cristo Redentor. Betty, a retired lady, is heading it up and Juan Esteban (my pastor) likes the idea of having a mix of wisdom and enthusiasm in its leadership. I like it because it gives me the opportunity to equip these women - but without taking over. 'We're' kicking things off this Saturday (I'm just tagging along) with a time of Bible reading and reflection - and eating at Betty's place. Then I think we're going to gather once a month for the rest of the year. Here's the outline:

1.- El Señor, mi creador [The Lord, my creator - that's this Saturday]

2.- El Señor, mi salvador [saviour]

3.- El Señor, mi Padre [father]

4.- El Señor, mi consolador [comforter]

5.- El Señor, mi marido [husband]

6.- Parte del cuerpo del Señor [part of the body of the Lord]

7.- El Señor, mi Rey [king]

The Santiago Times

The Santiago Times is an online English-language newspaper about... Santiago! I haven't got into the swing of reading it yet, so I'm afraid I can't tell you about the quality of the journalism or if they are writing from a particular political perspective. You might like to use the website to help you pray for folks over here :).

Postscript: from a very cursory read, it looks like The Santiago Times might be a little right-leaning. I've found another English-language online paper, with a not especially professional name - I Love Chile. It seems to be a bit more left-leaning. Read them both and stand straight!

Why language learning is hard

Language learning could be really tough if you cared about your status or ability to excel - but these things aren't really issues for me, thank God. For me, not having much Spanish is hard for a couple of other reasons. It cripples my ability to function as an adult (so for example, I don't know what they're offering in restaurants and I can't ask the bus driver to let me off at a particular spot). With this, I lose some of the satisfaction of productivity and the dignity of independence. My beginner's Spanish also prevents me from playing a normal part in relationships. I miss out on something of the richness and warmth of adult relationships. And, what with my piecemeal progress, it's going to continue like this for a while yet.

These things are hard, but don't worry, I'm not too discouraged and I'm really okay - God is looking after me, there are many lovely things - and people - in my life, and it won't be like this forever :).

La moda

Here's a sample of my new look. It probably doesn't look all that different from the old one, but you really need to see a bit closer up. Jeans (or short denim shorts, but you won't catch me in them) + sexy sandals + a feminine top + long hair worn out + massive dangly earrings is where it's at (although now it's autumn I swear no-one's wearing the big earrings anymore... surely that can't be true... maybe I'm going crazy). I think these four tops cost me $25 all up, which took a bit of doing.

My view

Poco a poco

I've taken a little bit of a step up in the last few days. There's still a great staircase stretching up ahead of me, but at least I'm on the next step.

• All the unfamiliar things have stopped accosting me, and are beginning to become commonplace. I'm feeling more comfortable in this space.
• I can understand some of the unanticipated things that shopkeepers ask me, can catch occasional details when Chileans are talking amongst themselves, and I finally understood a few things that abuela said to me in the last couple days she was staying here.
• I've worked out how to use the ATMS (though I still don't understand why they will only accept my Mastercard).
• I'm no longer confused by all the different notes and coins and their many zeros.
• And I'm feeling more relaxed about speaking Spanish, and managing to get a few more endings right before they're out of my mouth.

Los precios

Some things cost less than they would in Australia; some things cost the same; and some cost more. Here's a sample...

Postage for a soft cover atlas of Chile (a present for a little Australian friend) to Australia = $14
One mini Spanish dictionary = $17 (the English-Spanish one I bought in Australia cost $10)
Sandals (on sale) = $35
A stapler, staples, scissors, sticky tape and a bottle of water = $16
One toy truck (a present for another little, Chilean, friend) = $12
One waterbottle = $4
Train tickets for a week = $14
Entry to football match = $14

BTW $1 Australian = $421 Chilean pesos!

Moving between cultures / 2

As promised, here's the stage of cultural transition that I'm in now:

Transition
Neither 'here' nor 'there'. No sense of belonging. Limited roles and responsibilities. World revolves around own needs.
No one knows who you are or what you can do. Not part of any structure or network. All past personal history and education seen to be irrelevant in new environment.
Anxiety, loss of self-esteem, grief from loss, confusion as to identity. Problems and tensions exaggerate out of proportion. Sense of chaos.

I had this bad when I moved to Sydney, but even though this experience is far more challenging and intense, things are so much better. I think this is because God is grounding me and granting me his strength and peace. Maybe I'm also more sure of my belonging with him and of my value in his sight. On top of these things, I still have my identity as an Australian, and I've been welcomed by and included in the SIM team here, and am getting to know Felipe and Emy's friends and family. I'm a long way off feeling Chilean though, and I do find myself getting a little more stressed than usual by the unanticipated difficulties and demands of my new life.

Here's a sneak peek at the next stage, which I believe I'm already partially in now:

Entering
Observer of people, places, and events. Superficial relationships develop. Aware of what is different and why.
Growth in understanding and ability will be observed and noted. Invitations will be extended and 'bridge people' will help the formation of new networks of information and relationships.
Still ambivalent about roles, status, and relationships. Growing ability to take risks in order to learn. Feel less vulnerable but still uncertain of who or what to trust.

The way home

Today I'm going to take you along with me as I head home after spending the morning at language school. It's the middle of the day so no-one's around. This is looking back up the highway, with Las Torres train station to our right. You get to it by walking across a big overpass over the highway.

Now we're looking the opposite way down the highway, and the station is back a bit to our left. See that road curving off to the right there? After we've got off the overpass, we'll be walking beside that for a little bit.

Now we're walking by that road. Dunno what the story is behind this mural...

Now we're just beginning down a passage/alleyway between some houses. That's a playground on our left.

And here's the rest of the alleyway.

Here's someone's house. You go in through the metal gate there.

And here's someone else's house. See how the fence has spikes on top of it and nearly reaches the 'patio' roof? That's to deter any burglars.

We've almost reached my place now. These apartment blocks are across the street.

Yay! We're almost home. Here's the entrance to the group of houses. I guess it's like a tiny sidestreet that you enter via a gate.

Here are the houses on our left...

... and the houses on our right. See that blue gate at the end? Well my house is just to the left of that - you can't see the gate because the school bus is in our line of sight.

Almost there! That brown gate is mine.

Yay, we're home. Now we just have to ask abuela to open it for us. Bienvenido!

Random things

• I went to my new church for the first time on Sunday. I'd followed a few of their sermons online before, so it was wierd to be watching it all 'live'. The service was pretty similar to services in Australia - ordered yet informal. Juan Esteban Saravia (he has two first names) is an earnest, warm and clear preacher. I'm going to be joining a home group next week and can't wait to really be a part of things once I can speak Spanish.

• I think I was wrong about my class observations - there do seem to be folks here who aren't upper class, yet who live in a manner pretty comparable to the Australian middle class folks. But my observations are still true for many, many other middle and lower class Chileans.

• I praise God for men like John Piper who have dedicated a good part of their lives to writing books and having them translated into other languages. It warms my heart to see quality biblical literature sitting on Chilean bookshelves.

• For anyone interested in learning Spanish, I highly recommend Jean Yates' Correct Your Spanish Blunders. It walks you through Spanish grammar (and a bit of vocabularly too) in an order that is logical and helpful for beginners. Yates writes for English speakers, addressing common mistakes throughout, and her writing is non-technical, kindly and clear. 

• Until I can easily understand Spanish I plan to listen to one sermon from back home each week. I started on the one from last Sunday a few days ago, and already in the introduction a cultural difference leapt out at me. Dan said, "The average Australian says that Christianity is not something that you want to take too seriously. If you're going to have it in your life, it's best to keep it as a part, measured and contained - you don't want to take it too seriously." I already know that this is just not true of Chile - I don't know what is yet, but I know it's not that.

• English is cool over here. As I travel about, I sometimes hear English pop songs playing. It's not such a special experience when I don't like the song, but when I do, it gets to me in that way that songs can do. The trouble is the people around me don't know what this song might me to an Australian of my age and nor can I explain it to them :/.

• One of the things I was worried about in coming here was that with all the emphasis on relationships, I would be forced to live as an extrovert. But I trusted that God would sort it out somehow, and it seems that he has. You see, what I hadn't factored in was how relaxed time spent in others' company can be. There's talking for sure but there's also just time to sit and 'be' - the relating is not as intense as it is in Australia (maybe because here folks aren't so anxious to head off and get things done). Also, as an adult, it's okay to do my own thing - as I am now :).

Learning Spanish: strategy

My memory really isn't great. Better for word meanings; pretty ordinary for grammatical forms. Once or twice a day I revise my verb tables, upping the stakes a little more each time. Some of it's coming easy now. But when I'm out in the real world having actual conversations with people, it's really very difficult for me to recall what should go on the end of a verb, or even to remember to make the endings of the adjectives the same gender as their nouns. And I'm a Speech Pathologist: I'm good at this stuff for Pete's sake.

What I have to do is have a go (or have a try, as one of my grade two English tutoring students used to say). I just have to cheerfully say something, the best way I can at that moment. And afterwards I have to not worry one bit that I got lots wrong. You have to keep trying to improve of course, but you've got to know what sort of pace is best for you, and just keep looking forward, trusting that you'll get better bit-by-bit.

Having-a-go isn't only for the sake of your Spanish: it's also for your relationships. At this sort of level, there's not a lot you can say, so it's thoughtful to take every opportunity to show interest in the other person and to play your part in the conversational flow.

You also have to shun English for a time (says me, writing in English). Better to live, breath, smell, and eat Spanish so it starts to come intuitively.

Learning Spanish: attitude

As I mentioned before, since arriving in Chile I "usually know what someone is saying when they speak to me and the general subject area when they are talking amongst themselves. And I can usually make myself understood by saying simple things, badly, with words missing".

Here, I'm the quiet one. Maybe I am in Australia too. I'm the one who sits and listens to other people talk and doesn't laugh at the jokes. I'm a much simpler person here and there's actually something quite pleasant about that. When I speak, it's to pass a simple comment or to ask or answer a simple question. I sit and listen, take in the view, smile at the kids, and help clear the table. Being around Spanish-speakers is a bit like being around someone with a disability - it doesn't really matter that this time it's me. I show that person respect and courtesy in other ways.

I might be simple here, but I'm not without personality. I may not laugh at all the jokes, but I appreciate slapstick and have even made a joke or two, in my halting sort of way. And what I do say, I say in that warm, enthusiastic, Chilean way.

Courage and trust

I've been living in Chile for one week now and it's been one of the most intense weeks of my life. It's not exactly been bad and it's not exactly been good. What it has been is extreme - and with great potential for stress and fear. Fortunately God has been so, so good to me. So let me share something of my experience with you.

In learning to live well in this new place I'm confronted by a new language, a new culture, a massive city, poverty, and new people - and a new physical environment I suppose, but this doesn't bother me too much (except it's hard to sleep at night when it's been 34° during the day and is still 22°). On one hand, there's a heck of a lot of new information to absorb and remember, and on the other, there are myriad things I just don't know. All this creates innumerable opportunites to embarrass or endanger myself, in both big ways and small.

To get through each day, I need great doses of courage and trust. Courage to constantly take actions or say things that I'm only half-sure of. It's courage that keeps me going and learning. And courage alone would be sufficient to get by, yet I might be unhappy or mean. To live well under these circumstances I also need to trust the Lord Jesus. I need to really, really trust that he is good and in control, that my life is hid with him, that ultimately it will all be okay. I need to trust that he loves me and is watching over me, and that I am precious to him even if I make a complete fool of myself. It's trust that enables me to be relaxed, to take my time in learning all the new things, to take notice of and care for the people around me as best I can, and to enjoy myself along the way.

Boy am I looking forward to the day when I'm (more) comfortable here. I knew it was going to be grim and that there was no escaping it, only going through. Now I know just what 'grim' looks and feels like, it's more extreme than I imagined, but also more okay than I might've guessed because I'm not passive in it. I'm here getting on with each day, being helped by God, and it's all okay.

Cosas diferentes

Here are some things they do differently here in Chile - or at least that's how it looks after a week. Hopefully it wasn't an atypical week...

• Chileans drive on the right, walk up steps on the right-hand side, pass each other by on the right. The last two are taking a bit of getting used to.
• Speaking of driving, here you drive fast and cut in or out as soon as the most minimal space opens up. Use of indicators is optional. Theoretically, the chance of collison seems far greater than in Australia, but Chilean drivers are accustomed to this style and must be way more skilled than their Aussie counterparts.
• People who don't have to clock into a office at an early hour eat breakfast at 10 or 11, lunch (the main meal of the day) at 2 or 3, and tea at 8 or 9. Kids go to bed about 10 and adults about 11 or 12. I like it!
• Breakfast and tea are similar - bread rolls, jam, chilli sauce/salsa, cheese... You tear a bit off the roll then put on it whatever you want. Proper Chileans drink maté. I'm not proper yet. Lunch is a cooked meal - maybe a chicken dish with a side of salad.
• Chileans wash their dishes in running water after squirting detergent onto a sponge, like a cheaper version of those things you can buy in Australia where you put detergent into the handle... Ah, you'll either know it or you won't.
• Today I bravely went to a big shopping mall not too far from where I live. One of the things I was looking for was Harry Potter in Spanish - but there weren't any bookshops. I think Chileans prefer doing handicrafts, playing music or doing other things where they can be together.
• Post offices are also something of a rarity because the internet is everywhere here, even in the poorest areas.
• In the train, there are millions of adds for universities as well as for dentists and various other health practitioners.

And then lots of things are the same or pretty close, but they're boring to talk about!

¡Muchas fotos!

                                         Little Fiona arrives in Chile 

                                         My new house

                                         My room

                                         The view from my window

                                         My new friends

Los primeros días en Chile - people

I have been so blessed by the people around me. Warm and relaxed, Hans picked me up from the airport and took me to the Aussie missionaries' house (Michelle and David and their kids) where all the SIM folks who live in Santiago were waiting to greet me. We had a long lunch and they made me feel most welcome. Hans' wife, Carmen, is the SIM Chile Director and on Tuesday she showed me how to use the Metro, took me to the language school and round the city and helped me get a sim card for my phone. Like her husband she is warm and relaxed and I enjoyed chatting companionably (in English!) with her and finding out the things I needed to know, as well as learning a bit about Chilean culture.

I'm staying with a beautiful Christian family - Felipe, Emy, and their two little boys. Felipe's mum lives over the back fence and Emy's best friend lives in the next street, and, since I've been staying here, their abuela and cousin have been up visiting from the south. Emy tells me that there are always people coming and going at their place. Again, they are warm, welcoming, cheerful and relaxed. They chat interestedly with me, speaking nice and slow and repeating things in a different way if I fail to understand. But they also let me do my own thing whenever I want. It's the sort of home - and the sort of culture - where people spend a fair bit of time sitting round, in silence for a bit, then passing comment on something, and where visitors stick around chatting for a long time. It's companionable and fun but not pressured. Me gusta mucho. And living with them is helping so much, not only with my Spanish, but also with understanding how people go about their day and all the little things they do differently to folks back home. I am so blessed to be living with these guys.

Los primeros días en Chile - intensity

It's hard to convey how intense this experience is. I mean, others tried to explain it to me before and I didn't understand til now. Landing in this alien-looking place has been a real shock, and then I start to think about practicalities and wonder how I could go about life here: how I would know what to look for in the cramped cornerstores; which bus to catch where I want to go; and where you go to get a document scanned. People tell me things I need to know and, while I appreciate and need their help, it adds to the sea of new things. I'm living with a (wonderful, wonderful) family and when they tell me it's time for breakfast, I don't know if I need to wait for them or not, or how I'm supposed to eat the bread rolls and chile salsa waiting on the table. It's like the thought of drowning: every detail around me is strange and new. In truth a lot of things are the same, but so much is new the familiar goes unnoticed.

I can't begin to tell you how glad I am that I put so much work into Spanish last year. So, so glad. Still hard to explain how full-on it is to be surrounded only by Spanish though. There's no let-up. I want to ask whether it's okay to use skype, hang out with my host family, meet someone new, or buy something in a shop - it's all Spanish. Siempre Spanish. It's as if I were studying Spanish in Australia, doing a rough and ready seat-of-my-pants sort of job, and suddenly by some cruel joke, I'm transported to Chile before I'm prepared and expected to communicate with adults when my level is below that of a three year-old. I can't imagine how horrible the experience would be without any Spanish. At least I usually know what someone is saying when they speak to me and the general subject area when they are talking amongst themselves. And I can usually make myself understood by saying simple things, badly, with words missing.

But I have to say that God has absolutely been answering my supporters' prayers. Despite being so profoundly out of my depth, I haven't been afraid or lost confidence or embarrassed by my infantile Spanish. He's been giving me the strength and energy to get through each long day, and I find my worth and confidence in him. I humble myself and it's no problem to just do what I can - I'm not bothered by what people may think. And I trust that he will get me through the journey, that I only need to learn what I can each day and the rest will follow in good time. I'm very grateful to him for keeping me in this way.

Los primeros días en Chile - first impressions

I've well and truely arrived folks! Been here two and a half days now and it feels like a week or more. I've travelled to places more 'strange' than this and it's not been a big deal, but knowing that I'm going to be living here changes everything. There are so, so many things I could tell you about but I'll begin by just mentioning a few things that come to mind.

We flew in over the Andes and it was already clear that I was a long way from home. I thought there would be one straight line of mountains but they were all banked up one behind the other, longer than the eye could see and wide. The highest mountains were white with snow and the fact that we were flying over them didn't diminish their awe.

As we came in to land, the ground looked drier than I imagined it would, something like a desert, with the occasional cactus. It's the end of summer and the whole city's dusty and dry. I'm told that in winter green hills will appear, but for now streets and buildings all wear a sandy layer.

Now I understand how rich Australia is. I've been to poor Asian countries, but I expected them to be poor. Chile is one of the most prosperous countries in Latin America and yet the money middle-class Australians have to spend on plants for their gardens, appliances for their kitchens, coordinated interior design, travel and all the rest is the sort of money only the upper-class have here. Although being white and English-speaking, people will already consider me upper-class, I will have to watch myself if I'm not to look like a complete snob.