Urban intermission

Having farewelled my island home, I've moved on to do the same in Sydney. I'm here for four days, catching up with a handful of good friends and visiting my old church. Once again, my love for Hobart had made me forget that I love big cities too, and the reminder has been really heartening. And I've been feeling anxious about how alien Santiago will be - the physical environment of course, but also the language and the people's ways. But I find Sydney so familiar and comfortable, and I know that, before too long, that's how Santiago will be. I've also been worried about how I'll present myself in the city, that I'll make myself a target by appearing harried and confused. But again, because I know Sydney, I just calmly walk around the place, minding my own business and sorting myself out as I go. Just because I'll be in a new city doesn't mean I need to give way to blind panic ;).

Everyone and amazing

It's difficult - logistically and emotionally - to say goodbye to all your friends. It helps to realise that it's not about creating something new, but farewelling what's already there. If you don't already know the person well or have memories together, then this is not the time. So it's okay not to get around everyone, and it's also okay for a farewell to come as part of a prosaic event and to itself be a small, simple moment.

Mini me

Here's the cake Emily made for the Team Fiona farewell BBQ. Not too shoddy.

Team Fiona

As well as my crowd of supporters, I'm blessed to have a smaller 'Advocacy Team' (aka 'Team Fiona') behind me. The team is headed up by my friend Kate and I can't begin to tell you what a support and encouragement she has been to me this far. Her role is more involved and formal - the other Advocacy Team guys are mainly about keeping me on people's radar - and praying for me and helping me out when I have particular need. They are God's way of enabling me to be strong and courageous. Without them, I'd fly away timid and lonely, but I'm not alone. Thanks guys.

Moving between cultures

At the SIM training course months ago I received a very helpful table about 'Moving between cultures'. There are five stages - own culture, leaving, transition, entering, and new culture. Let me begin by sharing with you where I have been:

Own culture
Committed and involved with people, places and events. Know what is going on, acts responsibly.
People know who you are, what you can do and where you belong. You are part of a number of networks of relationships and information.
There is security in knowing and being known. You are confident in roles, responsibilities and behaviour. Appropriate intimacy is enjoyed in relationships.

This is where I am right now:

Leaving
Begin to distance and disengage from people, places and events. Roles and responsibilities are relinquished.
Farewells change relationships. Begin to move to periphery of networks, especially when future is being planned.
Sadness, guilt, rejection and even resentment may be felt. Important to say "goodbyes" well in order to be able to say "hello".

These categories accurately capture my experiences so far, except I'm happy to say that 'leaving' hasn't been so awful. It's a little tinged with those negative emotions, but only a little. (Actually that's not quite true - leaving Bruny Island and Salamanca Market for the last time was pretty upsetting.) And hopefully it's been good to have an extended holiday before leaving, not just because it has given me time to rest and say goodbye, but also because it's allowed me to get used to loss of responsibility and role in a 'safe' context. This loss (coupled with the sense of losing friends) was incredibly hard for me when I moved to Sydney, but I'm actually appreciating it now. I love my work, but I do carry around a sense of responsibility and concern for the people of my church, so the lifting of that has been refreshing.

I'll let you know about 'transition' in a couple of weeks when I'm in Santiago.

Macul

Just found out I'll be living in Macul, the next suburb south of Ñuñoa. From what I can make out of the (dodgy English) Wikipedia page the suburb hosts "one of the biggest clubs in Santiago"; Donde La Cuca, a restaurant "characterized by its pleasing atmosphere and live music"; the grand Cousiño palace; and a football stadium which is the homeground of Colo-Colo, the most successful football team in Chile. Check out this cool photo.